What are the stages of grief?

It is generally accepted that there are 5 stages of grief that tend to proceed in the following order:

1.Denial

2. Anger

3. Bargaining

4. Depression

5. Acceptance

Let´s explore each stage in more detail:

Denial

Because grief can be an all consuming emotion it is a normal defence mechanism to ignore, avoid or deny its existence.

In so doing, it allows the mind sufficient space and time to process what has happened while providing an element of anaesthesia to the pain.

As time goes by the real emotions associated with the loss will rise to the surface and you are often then in a better place to deal with the feelings of intense sorrow that you will start to feel.

Anger

The feelings that emerge after the denial stage are then often coped with by the emergence of anger.

In order to deflect the real amotions being experienced, anger will often be directed at people or even objects close to you.

As this stage passes you begin to feel more able to rationally deal with the true source of that which you are feeling.

Bargaining

This is the stage where you will often question what you could have done differently or how things may have turned out if a certain way of behaving or set of circumstances had been different.

During this time, you will most likely feel out of control of your life, your emotions and also your future.

Naturally therefore, the mind is attracted to anything that may be able to help you gain control of your situation and make sense of it and many find comfort from religious and spiritual connections during this time.

Depression

Quite often during this stage you will want to hide away from everyone.

You will certainly not feel like enjoying yourself or even looking after yourself and the very basic tasks of existence can, during this period, seem overwhelming.

You may experience periods of the inability to concentrate, think, make decisions and focus.

This is all quite normal during this phase.

Acceptance

This should not be misconstrued as now feeling happy, however this where you start to traverse the path of your new ´normal´.

You will not move away completely and immediately from having days where you feel any one of the above stages once more, but those days will certainly be in the minority and not the majority.

The above stages could take weeks, months or often, years to go through and it is important to be kind to yourself and allow yourself to accept each stage as it arrives and slowly passes.

It is important to remember that these stages do not always follow one after another and not always all are experienced by everyone, however, understanding that they exist is important along with, and most importantly, having people around you who also understand this and are able to support you through what will inevitably be a very difficult time for you.